Negative energy is like a black hole. It slowly sucks you in and before you know it, you’re struggling to breathe. Like dark matter, negative energy is impenetrable by light and cannot sustain life.
Negative people are filled with dark matter. Most of them have been living in the abyss of despair for so long, not only have they given up on their dreams, they are also quick to convince you of the futility of yours. They also try their best to discourage you from thinking big or having any grand ambition for your life. I call these kinds of people “energy suckers” because their negativity slowly sucks the life out of you.
Your only chance of breaking free of the immense gravitational pull that energy suckers have on your life, is to somehow awaken to the realization that your light grows dimmer and dimmer the more time you spend with them.
So how do you detox yourself of this toxic negative energy and feel alive again? You have to make the decision that your life is too short and time too valuable to share it with people who no longer serve you. The following ideas will help you get rid of the major energy suckers in your life, take back your power, and energize your life.
It takes a great deal of self-reflection and awareness before you can accurately decide what’s working and what’s not working in your life. But if you find yourself travelling down the dark road of negativity, the first question to ask yourself is ‘why am I like this?’ The next question to ask is “what’s not working in my life?” And in the process of becoming more enlightened about your life, you have to be honest with yourself and become aware of the people and situations that are pushing you down that dark road of negativity.
2. Redirect Negative Energy
The world is filled with negativity and an important skill to learn is how to redirect, or as we say in tai chi practice, ward-off, incoming negative energy. It’s impossible to shut yourself off from negative people because we live, work and socialize with them. So a good practice is to learn to redirect their negative energy. How do you do that? Simply change the energetic of the conversation or change the conversation itself.
For instance, if someone is bitching and complaining about their life, work or a particular situation, instead of joining the pity party, simply point out some of the positives of their situation. Or you might simply say, “Oh, before I forget, I’ve been meaning to ask you…” Then ask them a question about something positive and uplifting. You take control of the situation and completely redirect the energy of the conversation in a new direction.
3. Change Your Environment
Sometimes the negativity around you is so all encompassing that it isn’t possible to redirect that degree of negative energy. In this instance, your only option is to change your environment. If you’re at work, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom or make a long phone call. Find a new social circle to be a part of. And more importantly, find new positive uplifting people to associate with to counter-balance the unavoidable negativity that you’re exposed to.
4. Have a Heart-Centered Talk
Unfortunately, in some cases the negative people in our lives happen to be a close friend, relative, or co-worker. So if you want to change the energy dynamic between you, it’s imperative that you have a heart-centered conversation with this person. A heart-centered conversation is very different than saying, “you’ve got issues and I don’t want to be around you anymore.”
Instead, you simply share the way the other person’s behavior makes you feel. You would share something like, “you know, I really like you, but I don’t feel like I can handle anymore negative energy in my life, so can we talk about something other than what’s pissing you off all the time?” Notice that you’re not making the other person wrong for behaving the way they do. You’re simply asking to have your needs met too.
5. Necessary Endings
If all else fails, you must remember that, in the wise words of the Oracle from The Matrix movies, “everything that has a beginning must come to an end.” Yes, sometimes it is necessary to end some relationships for the good of your own personal evolution. These “necessary endings” are never easy. Sometimes they’re even very painful. Nevertheless, quite necessary for the highest good of all concerned.
6. Embrace Negative Emotions
Keep in mind that sometimes the biggest negative energy sucker in your life is yourself. In this case, it’s important that you learn to embrace, that’s right, embrace your negative emotions. Emotions have both a positive and a negative charge. Unfortunately, quite often, negative emotions can easily spiral out of control and take you down a very dark and lonely path.
However, the more you resist not feeling the way you do, the longer you will keep yourself trapped in that negative state. The fastest way to transform negative emotions is to go through them as quickly as possible. That is, if you feel angry, pissed off and mad at the world, find a constructive way of getting as angry, pissed off and mad as you can. Feel like hitting something? Go hit a pillow, punching bag, or get a stick and take a few whacks at a tree (one that you can’t possibly hurt).
Of course, dealing with emotions is never an easy thing. It requires a degree of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. But start practicing with the small stuff, like simple everyday annoyances, and eventually you will develop a degree of emotional sophistication that will serve you well.
7. Feed positive dog
In his book, The Energy Bus, Jon Gordon tells a story of a man who went to see the village wise man and he says to the wise man, “I feel like there are two dogs inside me. One dog is a positive, loving, kind, and gentle dog and then I have this angry, mean-spirited and negative dog and they fight all the time. I don’t know which is going to win.” The wise man thinks for a moment and he says, “I know which is going to win. The one you feed the most, so feed positive dog.”
In order to counter all the inescapable negative energy that’s a natural part of life, you have to be proactive and find ways to “feed positive dog.”
Until next time, may “the best of your today be the worst of your tomorrow.”